Sex Talk: Maybe hold off marriage, for now 

Someone tweeted last week that he had bought himself a washing machine, dishwasher, cooker, etc, and concluded that he no longer needed to go through the fuss of getting a wife…

So, there are still men that marry for the convenience of getting a housekeeper they can also have sex with, in this era? And if there are any children along the way, they are only a bonus that comes with the arrangement? No wonder the institution is in so much trouble.

If your sole purpose for taking a wife was to sort out the housework and meals, then no wonder you are often wailing about the sad state of affairs in your home!

You could have simply taken a maid. Because, these days, even stay-at-home wives need house help; there is no guarantee that just because she has no career outside the home, she will spend all her waking hours elbow-deep in laundry, cooking, cleaning, gardening, name it, and then still bring her A-game to the bedroom and sex when you come home later. Which century are you living in?

When you marry for the wrong reasons, it is really hard for longevity, respect (not fear) and passion to be injected into that marriage, like magic. You are no different from the man who is considering marrying a woman he does not love but “she is good for my side hustle, which she mans”.

He admitted: “She is not someone I would marry even in my craziest moments, but what will happen to the business if we split up?”

Did I mention that they also stay together?

So, while ‘baby gyal’ is waiting for a proposal each day, mister only stands her company because she is good with his clients. Don’t confuse things; a wife can be perfect at cooking, cleaning, baby-making, etc, but still be insufferable. One husband found this out the hard way.

“For the longest time I endured all the torment, quarrelsomeness and physical abuse, simply because I had never met a homemaker like her. She was a hundred percent in the domestication department, but that is where her positives ended,” he recounted.

His wife not only used sex as a weapon against him, but also regularly cheated on him – sometimes in their marital home, passing off as relatives her toyboys that would even stay over. They could not hold a conversation, and time spent together was always pregnant with animosity and tension, until he called it quits.

Yet the home was always spotless-clean, the dishes matching and well-stacked, and his shirts perfectly pressed. She even had an organic garden in the backyard, meaning he never had to buy any vegetables. But…!

“I am now happily back to bachelor status; she broke me so badly, I fear committing to another woman,” he said.

If he were to try again, I am sure he would not care if that woman cooked or cleaned… Marriage is more about the companionship; having a partner in crime; having a friend that quenches your fires and vice versa; having someone who, even in complete silence, is comfortable to be around; someone you enjoy making love with; someone that prospers you in every way.

If they also cook, clean, love your people, have money and are generous, etc, then you have a few more reasons to go before God and say, “thank you”, every day.

Stop shopping for a donkey-like spouse; buy home appliances for that, or simply get a job, you madam that expected to marry strictly for monetary gain – you will end up being a human sacrifice somewhere!

caronakazibwe@gmail.com