Sex Talk: Your porn addiction is giving you impotence

After finding her husband one too many times masturbating on the floor of their marital bedroom as she went yet another week without making love with him, one distressed Kampala wife finally packed up and left.

She probably did not consider the possibility that her husband’s addiction to pornography and masturbation had made him potentially impotent to any sexual activity with actual woman beings.

Just like people that believe that wrestling matches they watch on TV are real, there are similarly special people that believe that the sex they watch in porn is real sex.

They start expecting that kind of performance from their spouses and when they don’t get it, they turn to masturbating while watching more pornography.

Before they know what is happening, they are addicted to a faux life and have weaned themselves off their real-life spouses, because the latter can never deliver the sexual highs and releases at the same pace of pornography.

In fact, sex therapists and psychologists warn that there is a significant rise in sexual dysfunction directly related to addiction to pornography, especially in recent years as the Internet has made these images and videos more readily available.

“In the past, I have typically fast-forwarded past any vaginal sex or emotionally positive interactions to the anal bits. Also in the past, I have often felt strong resentment toward my wife for her unwillingness to emulate porn,” a porn addict who is dehabituating from masturbating to pornography, told Naomi Wolf, as reported in her book, Vagina: A New Biography. No wonder, some Ugandan marriage and sex counsellors report that wives are running to them in distress, as more and more heterosexual husbands try to force anal sex on them!

Pornography glorifies all forms of sex, including anal sex, bestiality, BDSM, dehumanizing treatment during sex (such as urinating on the woman), and other uncontemporary sexual preferences and positions, which addicts often try to impose on their real-life partners with disastrous effects.

Actresses in pornography, for example, seem to go from zero to multiple orgasms within seconds, compared to an  ‘organic wife’ with an ‘organic response’ who needs time and finetuning.

The result: men addicted to the women they see on screen and impatient with the ones they married. Although men seem to have a bigger problem with porn addiction than women, it does not mean women are in any less trouble.

A wife addicted to stimulating herself and driving herself to multiple orgasms using sex toys or dildos, will inadvertently sexually wean herself off her husband, who still, on a good day, fumbles to find her g-spot and pleasure her.

Some women reported to Wolf that after getting themselves addicted to pornography and masturbation, they no longer can stand being touched by their husbands.

So, it is high time you switched your porn subscription off, deleted those apps off your phone and computer, and put away the dildos if you still want a meaningful marriage and sex life with your spouse.

The best way to deal with porn addiction is by not looking at pornographic material, or masturbating for extended periods, as you rediscover your spouse and his/her attractions. Dehabituate yourself from this obsession with what is not even real, and allow the body to re-learn how to respond to real-life stimuli.

“Porn sites, by offering abundant free samples, intentionally seek to engage this addictive response, to use it to boost profits. The tactic is successful: the porn industry is now larger than conventional film, records, books and video combined…The mass-produced, fast-forward, pornographic vagina is to the real vagina what highly processed or GMO food is to slow-grown or organic food, and it has parallel negative effects on the consumer.”

Wolf certainly has a way with words. So, enough said!

caronakazibwe@gmail.com