Sex Talk: Old is indeed gold 

Recently, 70-year-old Safina Namukwaya surprised the world when she gave birth to twins.

The overriding question on social media – without knowing the details – was, “But who got her pregnant!?”

As if her being 70 is a sexual disability of sorts. We now know it was through in vitro fertilization (IVF), but that does not mean that Namukwaya is incapable of sexual intimacy!

It is just that her eggs needed a little help with fertilization, post-menopause; but otherwise, her becoming a nnalongo so late in life has nothing to do with her sexuality, sensuality and needs as a woman. It is most women’s dream to be biological mothers one day, and thank God that menopause is no longer the final limit.

Whatever your thoughts on the issue of her age, go chew on something; the woman made her choice. So, do people get married or aspire to marry, thinking that after a certain anniversary, all sexual activity ceases – especially for the wife – and she simply waits for the good Lord to call her home? I wish I could put a befitting emoji here…

Sex in marriage is for life, till death or an illness stops it involuntarily. So, yes, ‘old people’ too do get jiggy with it and could actually be seeing more pink elephants in their marital beds than some so-called young couples. I don’t think many people think about this when they make their marriage choices: that you are choosing one sexual partner for the long haul. At least that is what God meant it to be!

So, whether yours was a love match, or an arranged marriage Indian style, use the younger years to create an unbreakable bond and friendship, because your sex life will need that fuel in your older years to keep sizzlingly hot.

You are a young married couple whose sex life is alright, but cannot call each other friends, let alone sustain a conversation. As the years advance and the sex becomes rare and more monotonous than ever, you may find that there is nothing else holding you in that marriage, and that is when some begin to stray, or even file for divorce.

We need to unlearn what we heard that sex is just for procreation, or that it is strictly to cool down a stimulated body – mostly a man’s.

Throughout your years of marriage, sex is what will heal the wounds that married people inevitably inflict on one another in their long journey. It is also sex that will draw two people closer daily, even as their social circles become thinner with age, and interests outside the home and family decrease.

So, yes, old people do have healthy sex lives too. And old is relative, by the way. To a 20-year-old, a 40-year-old couple sounds and looks like dinosaurs, until the 20-year-old turns 40 and realizes things are actually sweeter on the fourth floor.

Then that 40-year-old starts looking at the 70-year-old having twins like a museum piece just spoke up, only to reach 70 and discover that barring an illness, things at that level can be quite exciting too.

What I am saying is, mind your business (read, age bracket); focus on building a friendship and bond with your spouse at that ‘tender age’ of your marriage, and the bond you create now will come in handy to keep the sex wheels oiled and running much later in life – God willing.

caronakazibwe@gmail.com