Plan with your children this school holiday 

As the school holiday starts, many parents find themselves facing a familiar dilemma of how to keep their children engaged and productive during this break.

It is easy for parents to slip into the routine of assigning tasks to their children without much thought. Few of us ever sit with these children and plan together. Often, children perceive household chores as a form of coercion rather than a shared responsibility.

They may comply out of fear of repercussions rather than a genuine understanding of the value of work. As parents, it is essential to recognise the potential consequences of this dynamic. Children who feel coerced or compelled to perform the tasks may look at it as a burden and develop feelings of resentment, self-doubt, and even self-harm and treat us as mean parents.

It is even worse if you are not the biological parent. The child looks at all this as mistreatment with the mindset of “…because I am not your own child.”

Just be sure that the output and quality cannot be the same as someone doing something out of free will and choice. Children need to feel valued, respected, and empowered within their family dynamic, and this begins with involving them in the planning process.

Reflecting on our own experiences growing up, many of us can relate to the frustration of being told what to do without being given a say in the matter. This dynamic often leads to conflicts between parents and children, undermining the harmony of the household.

So, how can parents effectively engage their children in planning for the school holiday? It starts with open communication and active listening. Instead of simply dictating tasks and activities, take the time to sit down with your children and solicit their input.

Encourage them to share their thoughts, ideas and preferences for how they would like to spend their time during the break. Our children need to be mentored in many valuable life skills that will serve them well into adulthood. Planning is one such a skill that you can impart to your children.

Sit them down and solicit their ideas for this holiday. You will be surprised by how much each child will tell you or what in their own caucus they already agreed upon. They will mention whatever is in their minds. It is here that other skills of prioritizing the activities and budgeting come in.

Some of these activities need money. Ask them how they intend to finance them if it is not mentioned. If some of the activities are beyond your family budget, ask their financing plan. Now work on the budget together.

Discuss issues of income and expenditure. Teach them how to plan well and live within their means. Ask them to prioritize the most important activities that must be done beginning from the most urgent to the least. Teach them the hierarchy of needs, looking at what is very important, urgent, necessary, what can be postponed, what can come first or later.

Again, you are already tackling the skills of decision-making, time management, critical thinking, lobbying, negotiation, creativity, among others.

You may choose to ask them what they will contribute to activities that need money. The culture of savings and investment and managing their income and expenses will become vital in their mind. You are also able to tell who is good at what. Who doesn’t like work? Who is full of complaints? Who is a good planner, organizer, team player, etc?

After you are done with planning for the school holiday, remember to ask them to write a timetable or work plan detailing activities, timeframe, person responsible and potential consequences for non-compliance.

You can also include rewards for best performance so that your children grow knowing that hard work pays well and you can be recognized in future by your employer and colleagues.

The writer is the executive director of Hope Regeneration Africa, parenting coach, and marriage counselor