Whatever you are, be a good one 

‘Whatever you are, be a good one’ is an American maxim that always leaves me pondering – what if you are a thief?

What does a good thief look like? Thankfully, President Yoweri Museveni has offered sound counsel on how to assess the decency of a thief. When the inspector general of government (IGG) was zealously plotting to take down the corrupt through lifestyle audits, the president advised the IGG to go slow – lest she cause the thieves to stop investing in Uganda.

The past weekend ushered in a swanky hospital built on the kindness of the Speaker of Parliament Anita Among. The trending Uganda Parliament Exhibition on the social media platform X, formerly known as Twitter, which has cast parliament in a rather harsh light over its obese expenditure underpinning the patronage that keeps the ruling regime afloat, is yet to rain on the speaker’s parade.

For those who expected the speaker to be as cowardly as the South African parliament speaker who temporarily stepped down over corruption allegations, may your patriotism arise from its captivated slumber. As seen in last week’s column, the Speaker considers this citizen activism a witch-hunt sponsored by homosexuals and old women.

As you call on God to remember Uganda and its passively praying and lamenting citizens, the speaker also prays that her God will fight against those who fight her. Others cast their hopeful eyes to the president, the fountain of honour, to say something about the dishonourable allegations arising from the online exhibition – and they were not disappointed.

The president indeed said something – he reaffirmed that he was indeed the speaker’s president and rebuked those quislings calling for transparency and accountability. The speaker’s president summarized the online exhibition as a bunch of foreign homosexuals who in Ugandan-speak, ‘are jealously of the speaker.’

A wonderful picture of the doting grandfather shielding his favourite spoiled grandchild. Returning the favour, the speaker bestowed the highest superlatives on the President for his grand wisdom in the latest reshuffle. Like previous cabinet reshuffles, there is nothing much to be said for hiring merit because merit is not the calling card of the ruling regime and has not been for a while.

For those who hoped that the reshuffle would shake the mahogany tree of corruption – this is on you and the homosexuality that misled your patriotism. My editor, assessing the events of the past week, seethed like a dour-faced citizen, “We left politics to the hustlers and gamblers. We see ourselves as too clean to get into the muddy world of politics. This is the repercussion we are left with.”

Therafa, it might appear that the Uganda Parliament Exhibition is talking to itself, riling itself into a corner at the back of a room called Uganda. Dear reader, we revisit the unanswered questions that ail us like an unrelenting generational curse – where is the Uganda that works for you, including those who neither look like you nor agree with you?

After the president’s defense of his speaker and the speaker’s unabashed sole loyalty to her president, who besides homosexuals and old women, stands for the interests of the citizens of Uganda?

You see…some thieves masked as public servants have gotten rather good at thieving that we now hold exhibitions in their honour. Rabid sycophants praising every inanity of the regime as divine have become excellent at licking boots to the bone. It might even land you a ministerial position, causing you to ditch your orange T-shirt for a sleek suit that promises steady progress and a secured future.

Those who talk a good yarn about fighting corruption, threatening it wordily have become so good at spewing anti-corruption mantras that corruption is a leading enterprise nationally.

Kenyan lawyer and public affairs consultant Kingori Choto, in a 2020 Capital News online article, quotes the ancient philosopher Aristotle, “A nation is not built by mountains and trees … it is built by the character of its citizens.”

As South Africa prepares for general elections this year, in January, the South African head of government communication, Nomonde Mnukwa, urged South Africans to commit to being good citizens. Mnukwa commented, “A good society is built by active citizens. If thousands of people begin making the same decision, soon it will become the norm. So, let our actions this year speak louder than our words.”

Hence, we return this maxim, whatever you are, be a good one. Dear mere mortal, moonlighting as a citizen reduced to laments and deep sighs; what is the caliber of your citizenry? Are you a good-quality citizen?

Despair not; the exhibitions are a fantastic reminder that the work of building a better Uganda is for all of us, not just the ruling regime and the flailing disjointed opposition.

smugmountain@gmail.com

The writer is a tayaad muzzukulu