Three is a crowd: Diane loses more ground in her marriage 

(Continued from last issue)

David and Diane have been married for years; then there is Julie, the young secretary whose axis collides with the couple’s in ways none of them saw coming.

DIANE

David did not immediately realize that I was in the living room when he walked in; he quietly took off his shoes, and had just stood back up when he spotted me. He took a literal step back, his eyebrows raised in surprise, before quickly composing himself.

“Hi,” he greeted me casually.

His nonchalant attitude infuriated me, and I sprang to my feet. “You walk in at six in the morning, and all you can say is ‘hi’!”
“I’ve got to get ready for work,” he answered dismissively, and turned to head for the staircase.

After the night I had just had, I was not about to let him brush me off so easily, and so I rushed and blocked his path at the base of the stairs; “Where have you been?” I demanded angrily.

“None of your business,” he replied rudely, and tried to shove past me, but I was so riled up, I held my ground.
“I’m your wife! This is our home; of course where you spent the night is my business!”
“I don’t have time for this, Diane; I need to get ready for work,” he repeated, his tone bored, like I was a nagging child throwing a tantrum that he was choosing to ignore, and this time, he shoved me more forcefully, successfully moving me out of his way, and started up the stairs.

Halfway up, he stopped and turned back.

“About the car you ran to your father over, I’ll transfer a down payment to your account today, and what I send is all I’ll send; any subsequent payments will be your business; so, hopefully that boutique of yours will be able to at least cover those,” he sneered, then turned and continued up the stairs.

I felt like I had been struck, and just stared up at his receding back, my mouth literally hanging open in shock and disbelief.

DAVID

Diane and I had had countless arguments during our marriage, but never before had I come away from one feeling stronger and more powerful, until that morning.

The self-asserted sense that I was not answerable to her and that I did not need to defend myself to the one-woman judge and jury that was Diane any longer was not just liberating, but emasculating too. In that moment – probably for the first time in our marriage – I felt like ‘the man’; a feeling that Diane did not generally inspire.

It was one of the reasons I had fallen so in love with Julie; now there was a woman who knew how to make a man feel like ‘the man’. Maybe I was old-fashioned, but there was something about a woman looking up to you, acknowledging you as her head, that made you feel a deeper sense of love and responsibility towards them.

Perhaps that was what was wrong with my marriage to Diane to start with; that we had entered it as ‘equals’, and that no matter how much I achieved, how much wealth I accumulated, or how high I climbed the professional ladder at work, I was never the king of my own castle at home.

There was no doubt that I respected Diane; I just was not so sure if I loved her, – at least not the way I loved Julie. It was a somber realization that in this sense, our marriage had been doomed from the start. Of course, if I had never met Julie, I would never have been the wiser, and Diane and I probably would have been happy together for the rest of our lives – but I had, and I could not ‘un-feel’ what she made me feel.

Furthermore, now that I had experienced the love that Julie made me feel, I was hooked and knew that I could never walk away from it; what that meant for my marriage, I was not so sure yet.

JULIE

Even though David and I had spent most of the night awake making wild, passionate love, he woke up at the crack of dawn.

“I’ve got to go and get ready for work,” he explained softly.
“Maybe you should start keeping clothes here; then you wouldn’t need to leave to get ready for work,” I answered, only half- jokingly.

I had always wanted more of David in our relationship; more time, more commitment, more acknowledgment of our relationship to the outside world, particularly his family, but had never felt confident enough to ask for any of them.

While we had never discussed these things, his actions had always made it clear that his marriage took priority over our relationship – until last night.

There were so many firsts with last night; it was the first time he had spent the night, the first time he had arrived as late as he did, and the first time that he had not seemed concerned about what his wife would think of his absence. It was probably these firsts that emboldened me into making the suggestion I just had; either that or the lack of sleep had clouded my thinking, but either way I don’t think I actually expected him to take my statement seriously.

I was caught by surprise when he smiled back at me, pecked me on the cheek, and answered: “Maybe I should.”

“Really? I mean, I understand why you don’t, and I wasn’t trying to pressure you, or anything like that, I just…” I stuttered, before he stopped me by putting a finger to my lips.

“Shhh, I know you weren’t, and I’m not feeling pressured – I never do. It was a sensible suggestion, that’s all; so, I’ll think about it – but for now, I really need to go; give Junior a kiss for me when he wakes up, and I’ll see you both later,” he answered and with a final kiss, he left.

Once he was gone, I flopped back onto the bed, stunned and elated at the same time; I was not sure what had brought on this change in David, but whatever it was, I was now certain it had marked a new era in our relationship.

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