From time immemorial, men have raised children that were not theirs.
The richer the man, the more likely it became, back when DNA tests were unheard of, that a man was raising several children from his wife’s dalliances. Why? I’m guessing when a man was rich or powerful, there was less pressure to prove himself during sex; money spoke and acted as the adhesive where his potency and skill failed.
Therefore…erm…you know…!
I don’t understand why one would be surprised that of every 100 people that go for a DNA, 84 have their suspicions proven right, according to trending statistics.
It does not mean that 84 per cent of men are raising other men’s children; it only means that of those that harboured any paternity doubts, in 84 percent of the cases their hunch was right.
That said, are we finally ready to talk about the facts that many would rather sweep under the carpet? The fact that women are as sexually virile as men, under the right circumstances, and all factors being constant.
Many men still believe that the wife/wives exist for the sole purpose of satisfying a husband’s sexual needs. That when he is not in the mood for sex, or is on the rounds in the other wives’ beds, the others whose turn it is not will necessarily sit pretty and dutifully wait for their husband to turn up and unlock their libidos and sensual feelings.
Biggest myth of all time, which unfortunately men are still not ready to debunk. Recently as my car was being serviced, the subject of Ssalongo Mukasa ‘Samona’ Kasawuli and his 25 – now 15, after DNA tests – biological children came up.
My mechanic pleasantly surprised me when he remarked in Luganda: “But did that man sire all 25 children with his wedded wife? Why then, does it surprise him that she was also tempted and had two children outside the marriage? He sired more than a dozen kids outside that same marriage!”
The first man I have met, calling it in favour of the women. Not that I condone the infidelity and paternity lies; it is just about time we plucked our heads out of the sand.
Women can have healthy libidos and yearn for sex, sometimes even more than their husbands. Don’t neglect your wife as you chase the dollar to all corners of the earth and expect her to stay on a leash until you are ready to unleash her.
So, as you accumulate the wealth and attract ever more women, some of them will appreciate the cozy cushions of opulence that you provide but, nonetheless, still long for the organic, primal intimacy you are too busy to provide. And they just might act on it … unfortunately.
Ask the southern Africa head of state renowned for his many, young wives. Yet, he was reportedly veeery upset when he discovered that one of them was cheating on him. Oh! Shocker!
Some wives stepping outside the marriage is not a new phenomenon. DNA is. In fact, so many adults are with families that are not theirs – at least biologically – but have no clue, unless the mother mercifully speaks up.
So, be humble. But the bigger takeaway is: stop undermining women’s sexual needs, cravings for affection and attention. Stop giving them lacklustre sex that leaves them high and dry, because after all, they are women; “they are supposed to simply be comfortingly warm and available”.
A woman who knows her body well and is in touch with her sexual side can be as preoccupied with sex as the next man, by the way. Yet, from time immemorial, African society has encouraged married men to sow their wild oats and even bring the fruits from those wild fields home for a wife to selflessly raise as her own, whether she wants to or not.
Now, for the wife who – God forbid – finds herself cheating in a moment of weakness, the option is to pass off the tangerine as one of the oranges in her orchard, since she cannot make the same periodic introductions to “another member of our family”, the way her husband is wont to do every time he sires a child outside the marriage.
carol@observer.ug
Source: The Observer
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