Sex Talk: Did you know…?

That, two thirds of women cannot get an orgasm during coitus, but have had one during ‘other stimulation means’!

According to a survey of 3,500 women by Shere Hite (the Hite Report On Female Sexuality – 1976), only about a third of the women surveyed had orgasms through intercourse alone. So, while your obsession with penile size is a valid one, this is the main reason why another chorus of women may beg to differ, thus: ‘size does not matter’.

What they are saying is, yes, size matters, but it is not necessarily what will make lovemaking memorable if the endowed person is clueless on how to use that endowment. That, a vagina is sensitive to the emotional environment?

It is why past traumas such as rape can leave long-term scars on a woman and her sexual response, no matter how much in love she may be with her spouse. And if you turn your home into a war zone where you are constantly fighting and quarrelling, the sex life will be negatively affected.

I know a wife whose vagina reportedly ‘locks up’ and throws the key away whenever she is angry with her husband. No matter how hard they may try, penetration becomes physically impossible until hubby first appeases her emotionally. Men need to make women feel safe, for them to respond orgasmically.

That, a man takes four minutes to reach orgasm on average, a woman, 16 minutes.

So, go figure. According to British sex therapist Michael Lousada (as quoted in Vagina: A New Biography), during the average sexual encounter, a man is likely to reach orgasm faster than the woman.

Unless that man is chivalrous and patient, he is unlikely to impress that woman much if he regularly engages for just his four minutes or less, and then moves along leaving his spouse 12 minutes away from any semblance of a climax.

It is why accomplished lovers have mastered the self-control that allows them to put their wives first, pushing them up and up and over the edge in any way they can, before coming back for their own victory laps, thereby entering into their wives’ ultimate halls of fame.

That, men too fake orgasms?

Oh yes, some encounters can be that boring, and when he feels himself losing the erection mid-duty, he fakes his climax and none is the wiser, especially where protection was used.

In case you thought women bring all the drama and theatrics to bed, our male counterparts are catching up, fast just like they have with gossiping.

That, the G-spot is actually part of the clitoris!

Italian scientists have discovered that the G-spot is located at the back of the clitoris, “which in turn turns out to be much bigger, and to extend far deeper into the pelvis, than was believed to be the case”, Naomi Wolf says of the scientists’ findings in her book Vagina: A New Biography.

So, if you are always in a hurry to get to the coitus part, ignoring these two important centres of sexual response for women, you are solely to blame for your wife constantly coming up with excuses not to make love with you, because there is simply nothing in it for her.

I guess that should do for now as you get back to your drawing board and meditate about your approach and understanding of sex, which could be the current bane of your marriage.

caronakazibwe@gmail.com